How To Tell If It's A Swell Motel
Lately, I've been doing a lot of traveling in connection with my writing. The past three weekends alone I've driven to Sylva, North Carolina, Louisville, Kentucky, and Destin, Florida. Overall, I'm holding up reasonably well, except for the fact that my rear end is starting to closely resemble the upholstery pattern of my car seats. I've also learned that you don't want to drink a twenty-four ounce Diet Mountain Dew in a plastic bottle just before you drive up to Atlanta. Doing that can give the term, "the Foggy Mountain Two Step," a whole new meaning.
When you travel a lot it gives you the opportunity to stay in motels. Lots of motels. And I'm learning very quickly which ones are the good ones and which ones are the ones you need to avoid like a polecat. Believe me, even in this day in time there are as many fleabag motels as there are fire ants, and if you're not careful you can easily find yourself in one. Like the one I found myself in recently where the showerhead was level with my chest.
I honestly had to bend over so far to wash my hair that I felt like a human parentheses. Or the one that I stayed in a couple of months back that had a TV with maybe four viewable channels, and the remote had no batteries in it. Oddly enough, right there on the nightstand was a little sign telling you that they had batteries for sale in the lobby for only three dollars apiece. Isn't that classy? Because of experiences like that, I'm going to do a little public service column for y'all this week, and point out just what to do look for so that everyone can avoid all the fleabag and clip joint motels that are out there in travel land. Just consider the following: 1.
If it costs less than thirty dollars a night for a room, avoid it like a beet casserole. Think about it - going to a movie nowadays costs maybe fifteen or twenty dollars for two people. Snacks like popcorn and cokes can easily double that cost. Altogether, a couple could very easily spend thirty dollars or so for a movie. Common sense tells me that any place that will let you stay overnight for less than it costs for two people to attend a movie has got to have something wrong with it.
Maybe something major wrong with it, like a door that won't lock, or towels that smell like a bass. Just a hunch, mind you, but less than thirty, it?s gotta be dirty. Find another one. 2. If a motel deliberately misspells its name, avoid it like a cash strapped relative.
Y'all know the types I'm talkin' about - motels that have names like, "Thriftee Inn, "Sleepee Inn" or something else disgustingly similar. The folks running those joints want you to think they're one thing, but, when you lay down and find that Mr. Cockroach and his family are in bed with you, it?s too late. Hard to sleep when you're perched up on top of a nightstand for the rest of the evening. 3.
A "pay per the hour" option is offered. No need to say a whole lot more about this, but if you still go ahead and book one of these joints you'll find that the bed in the room is in real bad shape, but the furniture is in near perfect condition. Go figure. 4. If the place offers adult movies on their TVs, and you decide to watch one and it seems like the action is occurring in a room that looks a whole lot like yours, consider writing off the rest of the evening, packing up, and quickly riding on down the road.
If you don't, not only might you become an accidental adult film star, but you might also discover that some of these "reality based" adult films feature haints that not only shouldn't be filmed, but probably shouldn't even be allowed outdoors in the daylight. Just my opinion, though. And there you have it. Practical guidelines for keeping a fleabag joint out of your moteling future. I'd write more, but I'm doing this on a laptop computer out on the road, and this motel I'm staying in is charging me a dollar a minute for electricity, and don?t even ask me about the eight dollar rolls of toilet paper......
TV Technology for a New Age: Plasma vs. LCD TVs
You're ready! You've been working hard and saving a ton of
money. Now you're ready to buy a brand new Flat Screen TV.
Hopping in the car, you head off to the local electronics
store and just take it all in. There must be a million sets
for you to choose from, but ?come rain or snow or dark of
night' you're leaving with a flat screen TV.
You feel good as the sales rep approaches you.
No pressure.
You tell her that you want a flat screen and would like to
see what they have available. The first question she asks
you is, "Are you looking for an LCD or a Plasma?" Uh?you've
just been defeated. You have no idea what the differences
are or even what questions to ask.
Relax, there is a lot to know, but you don't have to work in
the industry to make an informed decision.
First, let's start on the same page. Both Plasmas and LCDs
are called Flat Screen TVs....
Tvs > TV Technology for a New Age: Plasma vs. LCD TVs
Syntax Groups Debuts First 42-Inch Olevia LCD TV Featuring ATSC+HDMI Digital Tuner; An Attractive Alternative to Plasma TVs
Syntax Groups Corporation(tm), one of the fastest-growing manufacturers of LCD TVs in North America, today announced the new 42-inch Olevia(tm) widescreen HD built-in LCD TV, its first model to include ATSC+HDMI as well as NTSC TV tuners.
Sporting Syntax's attractive new black bezel design displaying elegance and versatility, the richly featured Olevia LT42HVi LCD TV presents consumers with a compelling alternative to similar sized plasma TVs. "We are confident that our 42-inch Olevia LCD TV with Super-IPS and Syntax's iDEA technology is the ideal ?cross-over' product for consumers who desire an affordable large format digital TV that they can enjoy for an extended number of years without the negative attributes associated with plasma TVs," said James Li, Chief Executive Officer of Syntax Groups. "As more consumers increase their awareness of plasma's high power consumption, heat and fan noise, plus image burn-in effects and shorter life cycle, our high value 42-inch Olevia...
Tvs > Syntax Groups Debuts First 42-Inch Olevia LCD TV Featuring ATSC+HDMI Digital Tuner; An Attractive Alternative to Plasma TVs
Launch of the ?Grand Prix Game? by Malaki Sporting Games plc
Malaki Sporting Games today announced the global launch of the GrandPrixGame at http://www.grandprixgame.com. This game allows Grand Prix fans to test their skills against other fans from around the world.
The game is simple and inexpensive to play, and gives players the potential to win a cash jackpot and runners up prizes.
For Grand Prix fans, this interactive game highlights the unpredictability of F1 races, and provides real entertainment for even the most casual spectator.The GrandPrixGame is the first in a number of games being launched by Malaki Sporting Games, and works around the results of individual Formula One races. Currently there are 19 GP races each season and there is a new game for each one.
The GrandPrixGame is now LIVE, having received entries since 17th February, and will be running throughout the entire 2005 Grand Prix season."A beautifully simple and exciting idea with massive potential...
Launch of the ?Grand Prix Game? by Malaki Sporting Games plc
Tvs > Launch of the ?Grand Prix Game? by Malaki Sporting Games plc
Back to School Feng Shui
How Rearranging Your Child's Room Can Make Better Study Habits This YearEvery school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the malls in search of the perfect sneaker or the cool new outfit for the coming school year.
However, it's unlikely that the new shoe or shirt will benefit them at school like a new room arrangement.
How so?
According to feng shui, a child's room that is arranged well can positively impact study habits and create better grades.
Feng shui, the Chinese technique for design and arrangement, suggests that rooms that have good energy, or "chi", create happier, well-adjusted children.
Feng shui theories believe that for a child's room to have good "chi," the room must follow certain guidelines to be harmonious.
If the room follows these guidelines, the room will not only be restful, it also promote good relationships others and generate good self-esteem.
Perhaps most importantly, a harmonious...
Tvs > Back to School Feng Shui
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)By Yes, that pillar of society that has been with us since that slithery dude threw humanity for a curve in the Garden of Eden ? that cornerstone of society has been automated.I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance ( I wrote about him in Part 1 at http://www.thehappyguy.com/nuisance1.html . )No longer do pests have to come around in restaurants and train stations and villages singing loudly and playing their harpsichords. We now have machines to do that for us ? machines like televisions and radios and elevator muzak and backfiring Mustangs.In the olden days, you could just throw a brick at a public nuisance, and that would usually shut him up for two minutes ? five if the brick hit its mark.But it's harder to throw a brick at a TV, because bar owners send bloodthirsty lawyers after you, something the old-fashioned public nuisances knew nothing about. And how can you throw a brick at the shadowy creature producing elevator muzak?So it was...
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)
Tvs > Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2)